


Invitation

by Trilled



Series: Forged in the Fire of our Fears [3]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Past Rape/Non-con, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:01:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26653348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trilled/pseuds/Trilled
Summary: Feeling comfortable with their relationship, Dax asks Kira a simple question which causes her to spiral out of control and reliving the trauma of the Occupation.
Relationships: Jadzia Dax/Kira Nerys
Series: Forged in the Fire of our Fears [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790863
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Invitation

**Author's Note:**

> Set mid season 1, except for the final scene, which is set after The Seige in season 2.

Kira lay stretched across the bed, having just been satisfied many time by Dax, her fingers and her experienced tongue.

Dax looked up at her, flicking her long hair back out of her face. "Are you okay honey?"

"Perfectly." Kira grinned, trying to pull her lover back up into her arms.

“Just making sure. You seemed to disappear on me for a moment.”

“Just a fleeting thought. Nothing that needs to interrupt the moment because it’s gone now.”

“You’d tell me though if it was a problem?”

“Of course I would, and I truly appreciate how understanding you’ve been. You’ve given me a lot of space to deal with my past and explore this new part of me.”

“I do enjoy all this exploration.” Dax lay next to her, resting on her arm, looking down at Kira, slowly running her hand along her bare skin. "You know that we've been together for quite a few months now." Dax stated.

She nodded. “Are we coming up for some milestone anniversary or something?" Kira asked, gazing at Dax, planting small kissing along her collarbone.

"Not according to Trill customs. But I've been thinking, our sex life has been really good..."

"I can't believe how good it is. I didn’t realise everything I’ve been missing out on by just sleeping with men."

"I'm glad to hear that." Dax paused, trying to carefully word what she wanted to say. "I was thinking that if you're finding that you're better able to cope with what happened to you during the Occupation, and you trust me, then you might like to try going a little further."

Kira immediately stiffened, her body now on guard. "Further? How so?"

Dax expected Kira's defensive barrier to go up, and decided against holding her, letting her find her own space. "Penetration." Dax stated simply. "I want to be able to do to you what you've been doing to me."

Kira paused, and Dax thought that she was contemplating what had been said. Instead s slid out of bed backwards, groping around for her clothes that had been thrown off in passion.

"Nerys, stop." Dax crawled out of bed, grabbing the now half-dressed Kira by the shoulders. "You know I won't do anything you don't want me to, but I do want to be able to show you so much more." Dax held Kira's cheek, getting her to look her in the eyes. "You can trust me Nerys."

With that remark Kira stopped what she was doing, looking defeated. "I know."

"I'm not going to pressure you into anything, but I do want you to at least think about it. There are so many more things that you haven't experienced yet, and I want to be able share it with you."

"And I want you to show them to me. I'm just..." Kira looked down at her feet.

"Scared?" Dax offered and Kira nodded. She pulled Kira back onto the bed, sitting down and putting her arm around her shoulders. "Which part are you scared about? The memories? The pain? The fear?"

"I think all of it. It's been so long.”

"Firstly, penetrative sex is quite different with a woman than with a man. The penis can be such a clumsy tool when it comes to intercourse.” Dax gentle ran her fingers along Kira’s fingers, stroking them sensuously. "But it might take you a few tries before you actually want to go through with it. I'll understand if you want to stop at any time.”

Kira mutely nodded, gripping Dax’s fingers between her own.

“Why don't you take these clothes back off and get into bed." Dax saw the look of terror in her eyes. "To sleep! I'll get out your spare nightshirt?"

She looked at her quizzically. "You want me to stay the night again?"

"I love falling asleep with you in my arms." Dax reached over and kissed Kira lightly on the lips. “And I know you sleep better when you’re here. No pressure, no expectations. I knew you'd be wary of this, and I don't want you to feel as though we have to try tonight. Just think about it."

Kira nodded against Dax's chest, then pulled away to remove her clothes while Dax fossicked around in the wardrobe for the spare nightshirt. When she turned back, Kira was already in bed, the blanket pulled up to her neck.

"How did you know that I wanted the nightshirt?" She asked, trying to put it on while staying under the blanket.

"I know that when you get reminders of the past, you don't like feeling naked. Would you like me to wear a nightshirt too?"

Kira shook her head. "No, that's fine."

Dax slid quickly into the bed, waiting for Kira to dress and lie down.

"I didn’t mean to worry you and send you fleeing from my bed. I love the time we get to spend together after.”

“I’m finding it... different." Kira curled up into Dax's arms, "Thank you for loving me even though I’m broken."

"You are not broken Nerys" She kissed Kira on the lips, gently running her hand over her cheek as she closed her eyes to sleep.

=/\=

"Major, one step further and you're on report." Sisko bellowed.

"The Bajoran government has the right to know. You cannot hide the truth from us. Again." Kira's eyes blazed. 

"Major, this has nothing to do with Bajor, or even this system."

"If the Federation is in bed with the Cardassians then Bajor needs to know."

"These are simple property negotiations. They have systems we want, we want systems they have. I hardly see it as being in bed with them. Now sit down before you start a war!"

Kira threw herself back into the chair, scowling at him.

"Major, this week could have been quite peaceful and quiet. Instead, you have been turning every little thing into a red alert situation."

"Little thing!" Kira exploded. 

Sisko held his hand up to silence her. "They have all been little things Major. Quarks ripping off customers, the Bolian ship docking here, the Klingon research ship on the wormhole, Ensign Arwa's request to transfer posts. It has all small and hardly requires the station going onto red alert for you." He got up, ordering a Raktajino from his personal replicator. "Do you want anything?" Kira shook her head. "Major, is there anything you would like to talk about? Maybe what is causing you to be in this bad mood?"

"I am not in a bad mood Commander. Maybe I do feel more passionately about some things than you do, but that's hardly any reason to think I am in a bad mood."

"No Major, this is more than your usual passion, you are in a bad mood. Do you need some time off? A few days leave on Bajor?"

"You cannot get rid of me that easily, Sir." 

Suddenly it dawned on Sisko. "Major, are you and Lieutenant Dax fighting?" Kira felt as though her whole body was on red alert. "I've noticed that you two have become quite good friends, but of recent you won't even give her the time of day. If you are having problems with someone, resolve it, and don't let it effect how you perform when you come on duty."

"Commander, there is nothing going on between Lieutenant Dax and I."

Sisko chuckled to himself. "Major, there is nothing wrong with Bajoran and Federation officers from socialising and becoming friends. In fact, I'd encourage it. Now Major, try to sort out whatever the problem is, and don’t bring it when you’re on duty." He sipped his Raktajino. "In the mean time, don't call Bajor. I will be adding this information about the negotiations to my monthly report, and anything else you find in the latest Starfleet report to be of any interest. Dismissed."

Kira nodded, letting herself out of his office.

=/\=

Kira sat at her favourite spot at the Replimat, with her back to the wall so that she could see everyone in the area without the risk of someone sneaking up on her. She nursed a hot cup of sweet Bajoran tea to help wake herself up. O'Brien family sat together at the far end, Keiko and Miles pretending not to be arguing. Little Molly sat between them picking at her plate of breakfast. 

Dax approached, ordered a Raktajino, and sat down with Kira.

"I've just finished, you can have the table to yourself." Kira told her, taking a gulp of the scalding tea to pretend she was finished and getting up to leave. 

Dax grabbed her arm, pulling her back. "I think we need to talk." Dax looked at her intently. "Nerys, please."

Kira curtly nodded, resuming her seat. "What about?"

"You. Me. Us. And your bad mood."

"Why does everyone think that I am in a bad mood?" She scowled at her

"Because you are. No one wants to go near you at the moment because you're likely to fly off at them. And Benjamin had a word to me." Dax reached out and put her hand on Kira's arm. "This is all about the other night? What I suggested?" Dax whispered so that no one overheard.

"No." Kira pulled away, wrapping her hands around the hot mug.

"You haven't seen me since. You've been avoiding me. It's been over a week since we talked and I've missed you."

"I've been busy."

"Rubbish. I've watched you. You've spent every night this week having dinner out. Bajoran, Bolian, three times at the Replimat. Kaga told me you even sat down in the Klingon restaurant for ten minutes before you changed your mind. That's not being busy, that's being lonely and wanting company."

“Did your snooping on me also show you that I also spent many hours at the Bajoran temple in prayer and meditation?”

Dax looked taken aback by the accusation. “No, but...”

"Look, maybe I just don't want to do it." Kira hissed at her in a low voice.

"I told you that we only go through with it when you say are ready and only as far as you want to go.”

"What about never. After three years, do you really think I can just forget what this means to me? You more than anyone else should know that memories live forever." Kira began to raise her voice. The Replimat was now quiet, people turning to look at them. "I have to go to Ops." She pushed her chair back suddenly, making it topple backwards, storming out of the Replimat.

"Damn you are stubborn." Dax muttered under her breath, getting up just as quickly. The chair wobbled but stayed up, her long legs hurrying after Kira quickly, seeing her disappear into a turbo lift.

"Computer, halt turbolift. Extra passenger to Ops." Dax called out, a handy tip that O'Brien had taught her about Cardassian technology. The lift halted, reopening the door and closing again once she'd entered. 

"Get out of here." Kira snapped.

"The lift is already moving." Dax stepped closer to Kira.

"You cannot make me do anything I don't want to." Kira stood defensively ready to hit.

Dax stopped suddenly, as though Kira had already thrown a punch. "Oh Nerys. Do you really think that I would force this on you?" She reached out to comfort Kira.

Kira swung, hitting Dax's arm away from her. "Get away from me." She hid behind her fists, ready to throw another punch. "Go away." She growled.

Dax moved to stop her, but Kira swung, connecting with her cheek and sending Dax reeling. As she righted herself she found herself swinging out at Kira, and slapping her across her face.

Kira stopped and slowly slid down the wall, staring at Dax. 

"Computer, halt lift." Dax called out, realising they were approaching Ops. "Nerys, I am so sorry. It was defensive, I never meant to hit you." Dax lowered herself to sit next to Kira, watching the confusion on her lover’s face. "I would never make you do anything that you didn't want to. I just brought it up to make you start thinking about it, give you time to consider it for a bit, maybe discuss it together."

"What's to discuss? That you want to do something to me that makes my skin crawl and reminds me of what a Cardassian forced on me."

"No. I want to make you feel good about yourself, I want to help you heal past hurts and I want to make love to you. I never wanted to hurt you."

Kira cast her eyes down, staring at her feet and contemplating something. Finally she reached out a hand and held Dax's. "I want you to make love to me." She whispered. “I’m just not ready for it all.”

Dax put her arms around Kira, holding her against her chest. “I know you are scared. That’s why I...”

The comm system beeped. "Sisko to Dax. Old Man, remember we have a staff meeting this morning. Are you coming up to Ops?"

"Sorry Benjamin. Major Kira and I were just having a talk. We must have lost track of time. We'll be up in a moment."

"Well hurry up. I'm waiting on both of you. Sisko out."

"Guess we should go." Kira pulled back, pushing away all the emotions of the moment and putting on her business face. Standing up, she reached down to help Dax up. "I'm sorry I hit you. That's going to leave a beautiful blue mark on your cheek."

"Just as bad as what I did to you. I can clearly see a hand print." She carefully touched the red lines across Kira's face.

"Guess I have been in a bad mood then. We shouldn't go to Ops looking like this?"

"Doctor Bashir will be up there already for the meeting. No doubt he'll fix it before we get to sit down." Dax held Kira close in her arms, giving her a squeeze. "Dinner at my place tonight?" Kira hesitated. "Just dinner. I want to continue this conversation."

She nodded. "Fine by me. I'll bring the wine this time."

"Sounds good." Dax restarted the lift, giving Kira one last kiss before the lift arrived in Ops.

"Glad you two could make it today." Sisko looked up, the rest of the senior staff already around the central Ops table. 

"Lieutenant Dax, what has happened to your eye?" Bashir stared at her, reaching for his med kit. "And Major Kira too?"

"Its nothing really..." Dax started.

"We were fighting. I threw a punch, Dax got even." Kira confessed to Sisko. "It’s all sorted now Commander."

"Lieutenant?" Sisko looked at Dax for confirmation.

"Its true. Things got a little heated. But there's nothing to worry about."

Bashir attended to Dax, being thorough with her eye that was now beginning to swell. 

"Major, you are Lieutenant Dax's superior officer, does this need to be reported?" Sisko asked.

"No Commander. We were both off duty. Correct Lieutenant?" Kira asked, watching Dax as Bashir fussed over her.

"Yes, we were off duty."

“Well I don’t want to hear of you two fighting again. This is unbecoming of senior officers.” Sisko seemed annoyed with both but realised there was nothing further he could do.

Bashir turned to Kira to attend to her injuries. "There's nothing I can really do for you, Major. You're not going to bruise and the redness should go away soon. I can give you an ice pack if it's stinging?" 

"I can survive without it."

Bashir nodded and hurried back to his seat, packing away his equipment. 

As Sisko started the meeting, Dax discretely ran her foot along Kira's shin, causing a small smile to appear on her face.

=/\=

Kira woke in a sweat, startled by the dead faces in her dream. People she’d known, people she’d loved, men she’d slept with. The Occupation had numbed her to death, and yet the memory of their brutalized bodies haunted her dreams.

Why had she lived when so many others didn’t?

Her breathing slowed, returning to normal, even though her heart still raced. She sat there a moment, then the shaking started, muscles on edge from adrenaline coursing through her body.

Slowly she got out of bed, shaking her arms and flicking her fingers to release the energy and trying to settle her nerves. Everything looked as it should, but the shadows unnerved her and she called for the lights on.

She stared out the window facing across the station, showing her the rest of the habitat ring, the Promenade and central structure. The reactor core glowed a comforting red, and everything looked right with the station.

“Computer, time.” She called and it responded to tell her it was two hundred hours. The station would be in night mode, skeleton staff working shifts, the Promenade closed, and most people asleep. Dax would be asleep. For a moment she wanted to call on her for comfort but worry rose in her chest. Dax’s bed no longer felt like the sanctuary it had become of recent. Instead there was now the expectation of more and she was fast feeling out of her depth with their relationship.

She contemplated meditating, lighting a candle on her small shrine and seeking solace and answers from prayer, but she knew she was too jittery to sit, and her head was throbbing from the drinks she’d had before bed.

Instead she pulled on her uniform trousers and undershirt, opting for a long walk through the corridors until she tired.

She aimlessly wandered, turning corners randomly until eventually the long corridor she turned onto ended at the upper level of the Promenade. She slowly walked along the empty walkway. It had a surreal, silent feeling to it. She had never seen the area vacant of people. During the Occupation there was constant activity and movement, the Cardassians working the Bajoran ore processing workers in shifts twenty six hours a day. When she arrived after liberation there was so much work to be done, first clearing, then repairing, and eventually rebuilding. The Promenade was a buzz of activity then, transport ships from the Federation constantly arriving with new staff and their belongings, Chief O’Brien bringing in every bit of salvaged Cardassian technology from all over Federation space to make their station work. She’d done beyond her duty in that first month, unable to switch off from her life on the move in the Resistance, and cleaning up piles of rubbish and Cardassian debris between shifts was a much easier task than returning to Bajor to bury the dead. 

Eventually there was less and less to do, repair crews the only ones needed for the work, and Dax had come into her life with such vigour that she had forgotten about the Promenade after hours. 

She breathed in the silence, enjoying the stillness in the air. She stood in the corner favoured by Jake Sisko and Nog, looking down across the lower levels at all the shops closed, she wondered when it had all been finished. Or maybe as O’Brien had mumbled, it would never be done. There would always be something breaking down, something in need of upgrade. At least now it wasn’t urgent.

Behind her Odo cleared his throat and she jumped.

“Major, is there something the matter? You are out fairly late on the Promenade and this area is under curfew unless you are on duty.”

“Is it? I’m sorry Constable. I couldn’t sleep,” she explained. “I was a bit wired after waking suddenly so thought I might go for a walk and ended up here. I forgot about your curfew.” She paused, looking at him. “What are you doing out here? You can’t still be on duty.”

“I have station scanners set to monitor any activity on the Promenade during curfew hours, and to notify me of people loitering in the Promenade. You set the alarm off.”

“I’m so sorry for waking you. I couldn’t...”

“Couldn’t sleep. You said.” Neither of them moved, waiting for the other. “Do you feel like sleeping yet?” he asked eventually.

She held the rail, looking out over the balcony again. “Not really. I’m still feeling a bit on edge.”

“On edge?”

“Just some bad memories. Well maybe more of a dream, a nightmare really. It didn’t really happen, but the people were real.”

“Ahh.” He nodded in understanding. “The Occupation?” 

She sighed, fiddling with a rivet on the edge of the railing. “It’s what they’re always about. What always wakes me. And then I can’t get back to sleep.”

“That can’t be too restful.”

“It’s hard trying to sleep when you’ve spent twenty six years learning to sleep with one ear listening, and knowing that deep sleep often brings back memories.” Talking made the buzzing in her muscles finally drain away, and suddenly she felt tired with a pain flaring in her head. “Would you walk with me?” She asked. 

“Walk with you?”

“Back to my quarters. I would appreciate the company.”

Odo nodded, softly stepping in rhythm with her.

“I mean, I know that dream wasn’t real, but my body responds like it’s real and it’s just hard to shake that feeling afterwards. I’m sure there are things from the Occupation that haunt you in your dreams.”

“I don’t dream Major.”

“You’re lucky Constable.”

“I might not dream, but when I regenerate I am conscious, and I think and I remember things.”

“Oh.” Kira felt insensitive for what she had said. “I bet you saw some horrendous things too, spending all that time working so close to the Cardassians.”

“Far more than you would like to know. Far more than these Federation types could ever understand.”

“They don’t, do they? Even Dax and her seven lifetimes. At least she’s wise enough to admit it. Doctor Bashir pretends he understands, but he never could.”

“He seems competent in medicine at least.”

“I usually try to see the Bajoran doctors. It wouldn’t look good if the first officer hit their doctor.” Odo looked at her sharply. “I said I wanted to, but I've restrained myself.”

“I’m glad. But he is a major annoyance.”

Kira gave a small laugh. “That’s a good one Odo. Major annoyance. I’ll have to use it myself.”

Odo seemed proud of his joke, and that she appreciated it.

“It doesn’t work for Dax though."

“Is Lieutenant Dax annoying you too?”

“No, Doctor Bashir is persistent with his advances towards her.”

“Oh. If he is causing women on the station to feel unsafe then maybe I should have a word with him. I have had to use my little speech on Quark a few times. It seems many Starfleet officers don’t know how to deal with the advances of a Ferengi and would rather report him.”

“No, I’m sure it’s not that bad. And Jadzia says she can handle him. I’ve offered too, as Second in Command.”

“Jadzia?” Odo questioned her use of Dax’s given name.

Kira felt uncomfortable, realising she may have revealed too much. “I guess we’ve become friends. These Starfleet types are rather friendly.”

Odo snorted. “I know what you mean. I do not enjoy away missions with her because she assumes to be too familiar with me. She would make a very good security officer as she is able to get answers out of you that you would rather not give up.”

“Oh? What did she ask you?” Odo seemed uncomfortable with her question. “Forget I asked. But she does have this way of knowing things you haven’t said. She’s got stories out of me that I’ve never told anyone, and I couldn’t even blame Quark’s alcohol for loosening my tongue.” She looked down at her hands, hitting them against each other in contemplation. “She unknowingly triggered some difficult memories just by asking a simple question the other day. I thought I was doing okay learning to live with the Federation here, knowing what we do about the Cardassians and how cruel they can be. Now I feel like I’m coming unravelled and can’t sleep because they could never comprehend what I’ve lived through.”

“Have you told her?”

“What?”

“That her enquiry has caused you sleepless nights. As you said, they don’t understand, but maybe they need to. They will never understand Bajor until they understand the Occupation.”

“It wasn’t her fault. She wasn’t to know.”

“It might not be her fault, but how will they learn if you don’t teach them?” Odo paused by her door. “Major, Bajor has a lot to learn about the Federation. But equally, they have a lot they can learn from us. They are too naive about the universe. They don’t like to see the bad in anyone.”

“You’re right Constable, as always.” Kira now felt more relaxed than when she had left. “Thank you for the walk, and the conversation.”

“Any time Major. I am always available if you wish to talk about the Occupation.”

“Thank you.” She smiled, unsure if she should touch him or not, but thought better of it. “Good night.” 

He nodded at her, and walked away.

=/\=

The next day Kira arrived in Ops looking tired, barely looking up from her mug of sweet Bajoran tea as she worked through the docking schedule for the day. 

Dax left her alone to work, but watched her closely from the science station as she ran through some readings from the wormhole, working on a theory that it too went through cycles, possibly in synchronisation with Bajor.

From the corner of her eye she noticed Kira slumping over further, jumping up and grabbing her arm before she fell onto the console in front of her.

“I’m taking you back to your quarters. You’re too tired to be on duty.” She leaned in closer to help her to stand, smelling the tell tale hint of Bajoran liquor on her breath. “And I’d say you’re also drunk on duty.” She whispered.

“I’m not.” She protested, pulling herself away, trying to stand on her own but failing

“If you don’t willingly go, then I’ll report you to Sisko instead of making an excuse.”

“Okay.” She gave in, relieved she didn’t have to continue pretending to work.

Dax helped her up the stairs to the upper level, guiding her into the turbo lift. Sisko came out his office to see what was going on. 

“Major Kira just fell asleep at her station, so I’m going to take her back to her quarters and make sure she gets some sleep.”

“I’m sorry Commander. I just haven’t been sleeping well.” Kira looked to him, feeling foolish.

“Maybe stop by the Infirmary for something to help.” Sisko advised. “And you are to report to Dr Bashir before returning on duty.”

Kira nodded, letting Dax pull her into the turbolift. As it descended from Ops, Dax put her arms around Kira to hold her and comfort. “What’s going on?”

“Just memories. They come back every time I close my eyes to sleep recently.”

“I thought you’d been doing better with them.”

“They’re always there, but now they wake me when I sleep.”

“Computer, change destination to lower level promenade.” The computer beeped in acknowledgement. “I’m getting you that sedative. You need solid sleep.”

“I’m too tired to argue.”

Opening onto the Promenade, Dax put a friendly guiding hand on Kira’s back, walking her to the Infirmary.

Bashir looked up from his work. “Major, Lieutenant, what can I do for you today?” he looked at them closer. “Major, you don’t look too good.” He got up quickly with a tricorder, getting ready to scan her. 

Kira pushed his hand away. “I’m tired. I haven’t been sleeping properly. Dax said I need a sedative to help me.”

“I don’t want to prescribe a sedative if there is an underlying health cause.” Bashir insisted.

“I'm just tired! I need a good thirteen hours of sleep, and then I’ll be fine to return on duty.”

“And can you explain why you haven’t been sleeping?”

Kira looked at him, tight lipped.

“I didn’t think so. I need to scan you then before prescribing medication.”

“Kira? Come on. You told me before.” Dax tried to encourage her to speak up, her hand on her shoulder reassuring her.

She put her hand up to stop his tricorder again. “Memories.”

“And these memories are keeping you awake?” He slowly put the tricorder away.

Kira nodded, wishing his interrogation to be over. “And waking me up when I do fall asleep.”

“Well that makes sense as to why you are tired. I understand what you experienced during the Occupation would cause many sleepless nights.”

“No Doctor. You don’t understand. You never could.” She snapped at him, breaking away from Dax's hand.

“I... I... I didn’t mean...”

“Just give me the medication so I can sleep.” She gathered all her strength to glare at him.

He got her a hypospray, programming a single dose of sedative. “Take it when you’re ready to go to sleep. The effects are pretty immediate. Return the hypo tomorrow and I want to check that you are well rested before going back on duty. And I want to talk to you about seeking some help with these memories.” He turned to Dax. “Are you walking the Major to her quarters?”

“I don’t think she can make it on her own. I’ll make sure she goes straight to bed.” Dax guided her by the arm. “Let’s go.” 

They rode the turbo lift in silence back to Kira’s quarters. Dax felt maternal as Kira slumped against her. “Not far to go sweetie.” Dax whispered into her hair as she tried to get her to walk the corridor to her quarters.

Once there, Kira sat on the edge of the bed, letting Dax undress her. “I feel such a fool.” 

“Well you shouldn’t have come on duty in such a state.” Dax chided. “And I was right in saying that you’ve been drinking? Last night after dinner you returned to your quarters and got so drunk you passed out?”

Kira nodded. “There’s an empty bottle out in the main room as proof. It didn’t help me sleep though. I had some before going to bed, and then some more after I woke at two hundred hours.”

“That’s why you refused to let Dr Bashir scan you? You don’t want him finding out you’ve been self medicating with alcohol again.”

“I don’t like intrusive medical scanners, and I really don’t like him.”

“He’s professional when you need him to be. But if you dare put me in that position again, I’ll report you to Benjamin. You do not come on duty impaired like that.” 

Kira sighed, acknowledging how much she’d screwed up. “I know. A good soldier should never put their team at risk because of personal problems or clouded judgement.” Kira felt ashamed of what she had done. “Maybe I need to take some leave.”

“Maybe you need to talk to me about what is going on. I love you Kira Nerys, but whatever is going on in your head, you need to tell me about. I need to help repair what I broke between us. We had such a good thing and I fear I ruined it for you.” Dax finished buttoning up her top, giving her a kiss on the lips. “Right, into bed now.” Dax ordered. “We talk tomorrow.”

“Can you hold me while I fall asleep?” Kira asked softly.

Dax smiled at the request. “Of course.” She climbed in the bed, spooning around Kira. “I’ll have to head back to Ops once you’re sleeping. I’m still on duty. But please call me if you can’t stay asleep or you have problems. Or call on Doctor Bashir is you really want.” Dax got the hypo off the bedside table, injecting it into her arm. 

“Are you sure I’ll sleep with no dreams?”

“I'm sure. This won’t bring on REM sleep, just restful unconsciousness.”

“Mmm, sounds nice.” Kira murmured, pulling up the thin Starfleet blanket around her. “Keep me safe while I sleep. You are my talinara.”

“I will always do my best to protect you.” She held her tightly, feeling Kira’s body relax as sleep took over.

=/\=

It wasn’t until three hundred hours that Dax heard from Kira, banging on her quarters door instead of ringing the call button.

She stumbled out of bed and opened the door, Kira standing in her doorway in just her pyjamas, her eyes wide in fear and trembling.

“They came back.” 

“I’m sorry it didn’t last. At least they stayed away for fifteen hours. That was a long sleep.” Dax pulled her into her room, wrapping her arms around Kira. “Do you want to talk to me about the memories? Time to bring them out into the open and then put them to rest.”

“Can’t be any worse than what I’ve been doing.” Kira clung to her, as though Dax was holding her afloat from drowning.

Dax ordered two warm milks from her replicator, handing one to Kira and then guiding her into the bedroom. “Make yourself comfortable. I’m going to get out another blanket for the bed.”

Kira sat down on the bed, pulling her knees up into her chest. Dax pulled a fur blanket from her cupboard, spreading it across the bed and wrapped it around Kira.

“Is that real?” She asked, running her fingers through the soft fur. 

“I can only assume so. It was a gift to Curzon from the Klingons. I can’t imagine they’d give a fake fur quilt.”

“I tried making one once. One winter we were holed up in this cave, and it was infested with these little rodents. We had to catch and skin them to eat. I didn’t realise that you had to prepare the hide properly and it all fell apart a few months later. It probably smelt too, but we all did. It was nice while I had it though.”

“Well I’ve had this for fifty years, so it’s not going to fall apart on us.” Dax pulled Kira into her arms, leaning against the headboard of the bed. “Tell me about these memories.”

“You know I’ve slept with a lot of men in my past?”

“You’ve mentioned it before. It was a physical comfort thing during the Occupation.”

“It was best not to make emotional connections. It only made it harder when people were killed. Many of the men I slept with didn’t survive to liberation. So many friends lost along the way.” She paused, remembering people she’d known. “In my dreams I can see them. Alive. We’re having sex, I’m on top and I’m getting off. It feels good, I feel good.” She swallowed, feeling guilt from the memory. “But when I look down to them, they’re dead. Some just still, eyes open but vacant, others have injuries, blood running from their mouth, gashes across their head, or... or... part of them are just missing, blow off by weapons or explosives or Cardassian brutality.” Her voice trembled as she heard the words spoken out loud.

Dax tried to hide her shock at the violence of her dreams. “That never happened though? No one was ever killed while you were having sex?”

Kira shook her head. “No, but all the faces are of men I had slept with, and many of them I saw killed. That last view of them maimed and dead got burnt into my mind, and no matter what other memories I have of them, the last thing that comes to mind is their lifeless body, and there are just too many pictures in my mind like that.”

“That’s hard to deal with. Have you had these dreams often?”

Kira nodded her head slowly. “Just after the interrogation centre. My body felt so broken and any man who came near me to offer comfort would awaken intimate feelings, and stir up the physical pain too.” 

“Oh, is this okay?” Dax asked, suddenly aware of their closeness.

Kira nodded, moving her hand from where she had balled it up across her chest and rested it on Dax’s thigh, playing with the soft fabric of her pyjamas. “I often see all the dead bodies when I close my eyes, but the part where I’m intimate with them is another way my brain is torturing me. It’s what’s causing me to wake if I do fall asleep. I feel guilty because at first I feel good and then the horror of their death and I’m still fucking them and... it’s just so messed up.” Kira lay numbly in Dax’s arms, staring at a random spot on the wall.

Dax just held her, stroking her hair in comfort. “It will be okay. You know I’m here for you.”

Kira held tight to Dax, slowly starting to feel safe again as she controlled her breathing as she would in meditation. “I know. You are my talinara. I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”

“Your what?” Dax asked, unsure of the meaning, remembering Kira having used the term earlier too.

“My safe place, my strength.”

“I like that. Don’t feel you have to go through this alone.”

“I didn’t think you’d understand, or that I could get to the point where I could tell you. Odo was right though.”

“You spoke to Odo about this?”

“Only in vague terms. The other night when I couldn’t sleep, I went for a walk and tripped a security alarm of his. We had a talk about back then. He understands what it’s like to have lived through the Occupation and reminded me that Bajor needs to explain its experiences to Starfleet so they fully understand how that shapes our view.”

“And I need to understand it too. In all my lives, this is one experience I can’t comprehend.”

Kira nuzzled in closer. “You’re lucky.”

Dax reached her hand around to hold Kira’s hand on her lap, twinning fingers together. “How are you feeling now?”

Kira took a deep breath, letting out a long sigh. “At peace. Thank you. Talking does work."

“Now, are you still sleepy, or did the sedative help you get enough?”

“If I can stay here I’m sure I would fall asleep again. I don’t think I was quite ready to wake before.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Dax settled down into her overstuffed pillow. “There’s always room in my bed for you.”

Kira settled down into the bed, pulled the blanket around them both. “At least in the Resistance it was common to cuddle with friends when you slept, either for warmth or comfort from the experiences we all had. I do miss that living here. Will you hold me if the memories come back?”

“Always, until you feel safe again.”

=/\=

The following days had been quiet in Ops. Kira was still avoiding any intimacy but often turning up in the middle of the night for comfort. The broken sleep was making Dax tired and she went for a second cup of Raktajino. She looked over to Sisko’s office, and saw him throwing his baseball up in the air, usually a sign he was pondering something deep, or procrastinating over something he didn’t want to do.

She walked into his office, sitting down by the small coffee table that doubled as a chess board.

“You’re meant to at least knock Old Man.” Sisko reminded her.

“You didn’t look like you’d mind.” Dax opened the drawer and started setting up the pieces.

“Mmm.” He put his baseball down. “I guess I could use the break.”

“From throwing around your baseball?” Dax laughed at him.

“It might look like I’m just throwing around a baseball, but that is how I do my best thinking.”

“Throwing a baseball?”

“You should try it. For a while you just throw it, get into the rhythm of the movement, let your mind focus on the pressure to throw for it to come back down neatly into your hand, and then, bam, the answer just hits you, like a ball falling back into waiting hands.”

“And did it hit you.” 

Sisko lent forward, looking unhappy. “No, not yet.” He studied the chess board, making the first move.

“You know what they say about a problem shared Ben. What’s troubling you?” She quickly countered his move.

“Whispers on Bajor of civil unrest again. It’s been happening on and off since we’ve been here, but this time it’s not going away. And now I've got Major Kira unusually moody and behaving out of character. I really thought we were starting to understand each other.” 

Dax looked at him, uncertain of how she should explain it. “That part is not Kira’s fault. I was insensitive. I asked her something personal, and I fear it’s triggered some Occupation trauma for her.” She raised her eyebrow to Sisko’s move chess move, blocking his advance.

“So that’s what caused you two to fight the other day? Starfleet have asked us to be careful with the Bajorans. We can’t understand what it’s like for a whole planet to have been through what they have and for so long. And Major Kira does seem to have been through a lot.” He looked at Dax thoughtfully as she moved her piece. “Just when I think I understand Bajor, Kira comes out with another perspective from the Resistance and it throws me. Last week she casually mentioned how she had to eat rats to survive from starvation.”

Dax smiled knowingly. “Yes, I’ve heard the rat story too. She is passionate about Bajor, but I think just as afraid of civil war as you are.” She thought back to their night time discussion. “I think if we are to truly understand the Bajorans and their actions today, we need to understand their experiences from the Occupation.”

“Opening that dialogue is hard when they think you are their emissary.” He took her pawn, realising he was likely sacrificing another piece to gain a better position.

“Well from talking with Kira, and some of her Resistance friends when I went planet-side, it’s hard to get a soldier stand down. It’s a lot of learned behaviours to break. There wouldn’t be many who know any other life.”

“Hmm,” Sisko contemplated what she said. “So what problems do you have that need solving?”

“Just the usual. Life, leisure, latinum. Love.” Dax sighed, taking his piece as he expected.

“Let me guess. That look tells me it’s love that has you in here playing chess in the middle of the day while you have a report due to Starfleet by the end of the day?” Sisko made a move that made Dax’s eyebrows raise in surprise.

“Oh, I'd forgotten about that. And I was kinda hoping they would too.” Dax quickly made a move, hoping for Sisko to make a common mistake. “And maybe it is love. Hypothetically... have you ever been with someone knowing it was their first time sexually. Or at least first time in a long time.”

Sisko gave a nervous laugh, surprised by the question. “Maybe this is the type of question you should discuss with someone like Major Kira.” Dax looked up at him sharply. “The kind of questions a woman discusses with other female friends rather that a man to man talk with their oldest friend.”

“You’re just afraid to talk about sex.”

“I have to admit I’m a little rusty on the topic. So, who is he?”

“He? Benjamin! You are so limiting when it comes to ideas about sexuality and potential partners. Male, female, agendered... there's a whole universe of genders out there.'

“Maybe I don’t have multiple life times and like to focus my options a bit.”

“You don’t need multiple lifetimes, although it sure helps when trying out all the different possibilities.”

“Okay then, who are they?”

“Hypothetical Ben.” Dax reminded him. “Although you are both are a little rusty when it comes to sex, and matters off the heart too.” Dax pondered that last point. “A little rusty... excuse me, I’ve got something I need to do.” She jumped up, abandoning their game.

“Don’t forget you have a report to finish.” He called to her as she left.

“I’ll get onto it later.” She called back, heading out to the turbo lift and down to the promenade.

=/\=

Dax turned up to Kira’s quarters dressed in a new outfit she bought at Garak's shop. Eventually Kira opened the door, looking tired and still dressed in her uniform.

“Did I wake you?”

“No. I’m just....” her voice trailed off. “Do you want to come in?”

Dax stepped in, letting the doors close behind her. “Well I’m here to offer you an invitation out to dinner.”

“I had just been spending some time praying. I hadn’t got around to dinner yet, so why not.”

Dax looked over to her shrine, smoke rising from a recently extinguished candle. “I can come back later if you need some more time with the prophets. This isn’t just a dinner request, I want to take you out on a proper date. Try and start things anew with us.”

“A date?”

“Well how do Bajorans do it? What kind of things do you do when you start a relationship?”

“I... I don’t know.” Kira sunk down into the couch. “I guess those kind of traditions have been lost by me. In the Resistance courting involved tapping a man on the shoulder, and if he stood up and followed you back to your tent or bedroll or wherever you were sleeping, then that was enough.”

“So do Bajoran women usually do the asking to initiate a relationship?”

“Of course.” Kira seemed surprised by the question. “Men can’t be trusted when it comes to matters of the heart, and sex is such an intimate experience for a woman that the man has to be invited by her before he can touch her.”

Dax looked shocked with sudden realisation. “I’m so sorry Nerys. I was never invited. I’ve done this all wrong for you. And then for me to suggest...” she gasped, realising the cultural mix up.

“I liked you taking the lead and teaching me.” Kira picked up Dax’s hands that had been resting on her knees, holding both in hers. “I’ve got no idea how real relationships work beyond just the physical, and even then this is all new to me. Besides, we’re both women, we can’t both take the lead.”

“No, but we need to communicate about it more. This next step in intimacy, you have to invite me when you are ready. I won’t ask you again, you have to bring it up when you want to and take the lead.”

Kira smiled and slowly relaxed for the first time for weeks. “Okay. I like that idea. We can still do all the other stuff though? I do like that.”

“I was hoping you’d want to.” Dax grinning, wrapping her arms around Kira and holding her close.

She put her hand on Dax’s chest to smooth out the fabric. “Now this date you’ve ask me out for? What does that mean.”

“You go and put on an outfit that makes you feel nice, and then we go out to dinner. And I think given what you told me, what happens after is your choice. We can do something together like a holosuite, or drinks at Quarks, a walk along the promenade, and if you want we can go back to someone’s quarters for a drink or to be intimate, or anything you choose.”

“A romantic dinner? In public? Jadzia you know I can’t. People will see me with you. If we were just having drinks or doing something social that’s fine, but a romantic dinner?”

“That part I have covered. No one will see us. And everything else I just have to be careful to not hold your hand or touch you.”

“Can you make sure Bashir doesn’t turn up this time?”

“Guarantee it. He was really awkward that first evening, and he really got in the way of me trying to flirt with you.”

“I would have been oblivious if you’d tried. I don’t know if I’ve got anything as nice as your outfit to wear though.”

“Whatever you chose will be perfect. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just something you feel good in. And maybe wear that extra earring chain. I think it’s a lovely tradition.”

Kira kissed Dax quickly on the lips, disappearing into her bedroom to change. She came out a few moments later wearing a long olive green dress over a long sleeved red top.

“Those really are your colours. You look lovely.” Dax complemented her. 

“It’s not much.” She smoothed the skirt out, putting her hands into the pockets on the side. “Shall we go?”

Dax stepped out of the quarters, clasping her hands behind her back so she wouldn’t hold Kira’s.

They walked the promenade and Kira’s heart sank as Dax slowed by the Klingon restaurant.

Kaga grinned as he saw Dax, welcoming her in and directing her to a door at the back. Kira cautiously followed her in, finding a large room, empty except for a table with two seats.

“I got us a private room for dinner.” Dax grinned. “The door in from the restaurant is now locked, Kaga can bring us our feast through the kitchen door.”

“But did it have to be Klingon? I’m not a fan of my food still being alive.”

“The Klingon restaurant was the only one with a private feast room. You don’t want to see Klingons when they get drunk and start eating. It gets really loud.” Dax put her hand on Kira waist, guiding her to the table where they both sat down. “Kaga has promised me discretion, and assured me that I am welcome to have a private dining experience whenever the room is not booked. The only other option was a private room at Quarks.”

“Those rooms are bugged.” Kira told her matter-of-factly.

Kaga started bringing food out, putting lots of dishes out between them, thankfully for Kira, none of them moving.

“I knew you’d say that. It’s why we’re not eating there, even though I’m sure you’d prefer the food.”

“Odo is able to threaten Quark to hand over security footages from those rooms. I’ve watched some of them with Odo. I don’t know if he’d see us as a crime though. He saved my butt before when the Cardassians were here. I hadn’t committed the crime he was investigating, so he turned a blind eye to me being in the Resistance .” Kira looked over the plates. “So what is this, and how do we eat it?”

“With our fingers.” Dax picked up a what seemed like a vegetable, feeding it to Kira.

By the end of the meal Kira had a new appreciation for Klingon food, Dax encouraging her to at least try everything before dismissing it. Dax kissed Kira’s fingers, enjoying the sauce on them, then handing her a cloth to clean them.

“So now what do we do?” Dax asked. “The rest of the evening is yours to choose.”

Kira thought for a moment. “Let’s start with a drink at Quark’s, and then a walk along the outer docking ring. If I can access a terminal I’ll find out which of the pylons has no one docked at it, we can find somewhere quiet for a while.”

“Sounds like a lovely end to the evening.” Dax lent over the table, kissing Kira lightly on the lips, then offering her hand, and quietly they both slipped out the restaurant via the kitchen.

=/\=

Several months later Dax was sitting at Quark's bar with a drink, waiting for closing time. Tuesday night was Tongo night, and she had money to win back from Quark. Morn had already gone home and she sat there staring at the swirling colours of her drink.

The stool beside her suddenly swivelled back, Kira jumping into it and turning to sit at the bar with Dax.

“What is that Lieutenant?” She pointed to Dax's drink. “Is it any good?”

“It’s colourful, but that’s all.”

“Disappointing.” She waved over to Quark. “I’ll have an Aldebaran whiskey thanks Quark.”

“Busy day Major?” Dax asked, looking at her a little longer than Kira liked in public. “Are you only just coming off your shift?”

“No. No, I’ve just been to the temple. Needed some time to ground myself.” Quark slid the drink over to her and she took a sip. “This is also just what I needed.”

“Not falling back into old habits?” Dax asked, knowing that alcohol was an old Resistance method for dulling memories. 

“No. For courage.” She downed the drink, and put her hand quite deliberately on Dax’s shoulder, tapping it. “I’m going to head back to my quarters now.”

Dax seemed confused by her leaving so soon, then she remembered a past conversation. “Did you just tap my shoulder?” 

Kira smiled at her. “I did.”

“Wow!” Dax exhaled, suddenly feeling nervous and excited. “I’ll just make my excuses to Quark. I was meant to be playing Tongo after closing, but there is always next week.”

“I’ll head out. You catch me up so we don’t look too obvious.” Kira mentioned, glad for the noisy bar where no one could overhear them.

Kira hadn’t got far by the time Dax caught up with her. “So what plans do you have for us?” Dax whispered in her ear, hands firmly clasped behind her back.

“I thought you worked that one out.”

“I got my invitation?” 

Kira checked around her to make sure no one was going to follow them to the turbolift. “You did. I finally feel like I’m ready.”

The turbolift doors closed and Kira took Dax’s face in her hands, kissing her carefully on the lips as the lift sped along to the habitat ring. 

“Why now?” Dax breathed, turned on by Kira’s closeness to her and the confidence she gave off.

“Why not?”

“Something has changed. What is it?”

Kira took Dax’s hands in hers and held them over her heart. “You fought for me. For Bajor. You’re not leaving.” Kira stated simply.

“Of course I’m not leaving.”

Kira looked embarrassed. “I didn’t think the Federation was going to stay. I always had this feeling that freedom was just a temporary thing, that Bajor would descend into civil war, that the Federation would leave, Starfleet would abandon the station...”

“And that we would be over.”

Kira nodded. “But you fought for me. With me. By my side. For Bajor. No matter how many times you said you loved me, nothing shows your loyalty like fighting side by side with me. Watching how you stood with me, it was damned sexy.” Kira traced her hands along the lines of Dax’s uniform. “And it makes me feel ready to give myself to you, completely.” Kira kissed her. They flew apart as lift slowed and the doors opened onto the habitat ring.

Chief O’Brien was working in the corridors when they got off the lift, and they tried to walk casually past him.

“Evening Chief.”

“Evening Major, Lieutenant. Heading home for the day?”

“Yes, it’s been a long day. I’m just borrowing something from Kira and then I’m going to turn in.”

“I’ve got a data rod of Bajoran music for her.” Kira explained, slowing but not wanting to stop to chat.

“Lieutenant, don’t you have a Tongo game at Quarks?” O'Brien asked, pausing from his work.

“I do, but I’m feeling tired, and I make mistakes when I’m tired. Can’t let Quark win.”

“No, of course not. Good night ladies.” He wished them well and they tried not to hurry off too fast. 

Dax stood awkwardly in the middle of Kira’s quarters, waiting as Kira keyed in for the door to be locked and they not be disturbed. “So, do we just throw ourselves at each other like crazed voles, or you do have a plan for what you’d like?”

“You keep asking about my plans. You’re not very good at letting me be the one to take the lead.”

“I’m sorry Nerys, maybe I do like a bit of control.” Dax shrugged sheepishly.

Kira kissed her. “Well tonight is not about you. There are just two things you need to know. I am in control,” Kira took Dax’s hand, kissing along the palm. “And we’re going to make passionate love, in which I’m going to allow you to put these beautiful fingers inside me.”

Dax shuddered with anticipation at her words. “I’m going to make you some wonderful new memories.”

Kira pulled her towards her bedroom. “I was hoping you’d say that.” Inside the bedroom Dax could see that Kira had decorated her usually Spartan room. A large bunch of flowers sat in a vase on the dresser, filling the room with a heady scent, and candles dotted the room, including the bedside table. 

“I like what you’ve done with this room.” Dax stood behind her, sniffing her hair and slowly kissing along her neck.

“Thanks.” Kira smiled. “The hardehi blossom reminds me of the Duhkar forests in the spring time, and the candles... well fire makes me feel safe.”

“How so?” Dax wrapped her arms around Kira.

“Flames are used in a lot of temple celebrations, which is my haven. Also having a fire lit in the Resistance meant that was no Cardassian threat, that we could relax a bit, have a fire lit for cooking and heat, and not fear that it would reveal our location. I’ve come to learn that having a candle lit, or a flame burning on my shrine, reminds me that I am safe.”

“Shall I light them for you?”

Kira shook her head. “Take off your shoes and jacket.” She ordered, going to light the candles and ordering the main lights to dim.

“Yes sir.” Dax purred back with military formality, undoing her boots, kicked them off across the room and dropping her jacket on the floor where she stood.

Kira picked up her jacket, shaking it out and putting it neatly on the footstool. “You are such a slob. I’ll have you on report if you turn up on duty in a creased uniform Lieutenant.” She pushed Dax to sit down on her bed, running her hand up along her chest before leaning forward to kiss her.

Dax rested her hands on Kira’s waist, drawing her down to sit on her lap as they kissed. “It will match yours, and that will get everyone talking.” Slowly she undid the front of Kira’s jacket, peeling it off her arms and back off her shoulders. Dax purposely dropped it on the ground.

Catching her attention Kira turned to look at it, but Dax bought her back with a kiss, running her hands up Kira’s back, finding the clasp to her jumpsuit and slowly pulling it down. 

“I will make you pick that up later.” Kira murmured, kissing her deeply in return.

“Let’s just make a large pile of clothes. Sort it out in the morning.” Dax pulled her tank top off, throwing it on top of their uniforms.

“You are incorrigible.” Kira grinned, getting off her lap and pulling Dax by the waist band before undoing the trousers and letting Dax kick them off. Kira fingered along the edge of Dax's lace bra.

“Are you going to report me for those too? I know they aren’t regulation.” Dax asked.

Kira shook her head and slowly peeled off the rest of her jumpsuit to reveal her underwear. 

“Oh wow.” Dax smiled, enjoying the look of the cream bra, decorated with red embroidered flowers around the edge.

Kira smiled, glad that Dax appreciated how they made her look. “They are completely impractical, but....”

“But they do look lovely. Have you had this planned all day?” Dax ran her hands along Kira’s nearly bare skin, kissing along some of her scars. “You’ve been wearing these under your uniform while on duty today?”

“I have. I wanted to make this evening special.”

“I’ll make sure it is.” Dax nibbled gently along her ear, sending shockwaves through Kira and causing her to gasp.

“I need you on the bed.” She pushed Dax back, making her sit up against the bulkhead while she straddled her thighs. She ran her hands over Dax’s body, greedily trying to touch it all, the dappled surface of her spotted trail, her soft breasts and smooth skin, rubbing herself up against Dax’s thigh.

Dax ran her cool hands down Kira’s body, moving her to a comfortable position. She discovered two little bows on her hips holding the underpants together. Pulling the string, the fabric fell away and left her exposed. “Hmm, I think this moment has been on your mind all day.”

“What makes you say that?” Kira hummed, kissing a trail down Dax’s spots.

“I can feel your heat.” Reaching down between them, she cupped Kira’s soft curls, feeling the dampness of her arousal.

Kira moaned from the intimate touch. “Jadzia, I want to do it like this. I need to be on top, in control.”

“Of course sweetie.” Dax kissed her softly. She ran her fingers though the curls of hair, finding the small pearl of her clit. Kira melted against her, Dax holding her close. “I want you to tell me when you are ready. You can say stop any time.”

Kira sighed happily in her arms. “I do like this. For now.” She slowly ground her hips against Dax’s hand, playing her hands along the spots on Dax’s neck and kissing her skin as the intense feelings built. She moaned loudly, holding tightly to Dax’s shoulders, shuddering at the small release. Resting up against her, Dax ran her long fingers slowly along her delicate folds of skin. 

“How are you feeling now?” She asked as Kira let out a loud sigh in her ear from her touch.

“Yes Jadzia. I’m ready.” She said with certainty, lifting herself up against Dax and gripping her shoulders, her body twitching in anticipation. “I want you to touch me inside. I need it.”

Dax watched Kira’s face as she slowly slid her fingers inside, her warmth enveloping around them. For a moment Kira looked uncertain, Dax reminding her to breathe before she passed out. Kira realised that the two long fingers now nestled within her were gentle and caring, stroking her in ways she’d never felt before. She relaxed, letting Dax fill her as she moved her hips against her.

“Oh my.” Kira whispered, surprised by the pleasant feeling it gave her that she had been afraid to experience.

“You feel so beautiful against me.” Dax whispered, finding soft ridges inside that made Kira gasp out in pleasurable surprise. “I am so glad I get to experience you like this, be a part of you.”

Kira could feel herself letting go, giving herself over to Dax and letting her do whatever she wanted as long as the feeling never left.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” Dax asked, looking up to her and happy to see her soft pleasured smile from her ministrations.

Kira nodded, kissing Dax in a frenzy while riding faster against her. “Yes Jadzia. Oh yes.” 

Suddenly Kira stiffened, letting out a low moan that quickly turned into a pleasured scream that left her panting and exhausted, laying against Dax’s chest as she let her body give in. 

Dax reached up with her free hand, running her fingers through Kira’s hair and bringing her closer for a delicate kiss after the intensity. "Thank you Nerys. Thank you so much for letting me share that with you." She carefully withdrew her fingers, holding her tightly against her body.

“It was amazing. Different to what I was expecting.” Slowly Kira slid off her lap, curling up beside Dax.

“How so?” Dax asked, trailing her hand over Kira’s skin.

“So gentle and precise inside me, like you were touching my very core. You were right, it’s nothing like being with a man.”

“I told you I could be as gentle as you needed.” Dax reached for the blanket, pulling it around Kira’s shoulders as she cuddled in.

Kira tried to pull away. “I should... um... you...”

“I can wait for you to be ready. You look like you need a moment.” Dax touched her skin softly, helping her calm from the intense moment.

“I think I do.” She admitted, letting her hands lazily draw over Dax’s body, carefully avoiding her sensitive spot trail for now. “The first time I ever touched you like that was just amazing, but to have you do it to me was... I can’t find words. Thank you.” She smiled happily, soaking in the good feeling.

=/\=


End file.
